Story times and special times

My special time with the kids is bed time when we read stories together on Heather's bed. It is a time for us to relax, be close and talk about our day. The time together is so important and precious as there are no other distractions from the rest of the house and chores. It is sometimes the best time of my day. Heather has always been an night owl and has found it hard to wind down at night. Her brain just keeps on going. I think yoga and reiki would be good for her in the future. We have recently been trying a bit of reiki at night and that seems to settle her more. We have had a long standing tradition of pretend stories at night where I tell make believe stories, often about fairy land or about ponies, unicorns and alocorns. After that she is almost ready to settle down.

Finlay on the other hand likes stories, but will often listen to them while pottering around the room. He is often so tired that he falls asleep very quickly afterwards. However his little trick is that he often wakes in the middle of the night and come straight to our bed for a snuggle, thankfully he then goes straight to sleep.

Tonight on the way home from dinner with Andrea and Lee, the kids wanted to be dropped at the end of the road to run home, while James and I drove home. It was so great to see them running together, a little team, so little and adorable. It filled me with joy and also sadness that I may not be around to see them grow into bigger kids and accomplishing well in all their sports. It made me sad that I may never get the chance to take them on a run and share the passion that I have for running. Once we met up, the kids asked if they could go and do the run again with me....how could I refuse!!! So we put our runners on and retraced their steps running all the way.

 I wish I could be there for both of you as you run your journey along life. I didn't plan for this to happen and we all feel cheated in some way. Someone asked me recently if there was anything that I wanted to accomplish with my time left. I couldn't think of anything for me personally except to have been around to bring you up and guide you and love you and share our lives together. You see you are both my world. Everything I have done since you were born , I did for you and want to do more for you. But you must know that you were loved so much by me and will always be loved by me.
I truly hope that there is something after this life on earth, not just like sleep, but the ability for my spirit to perhaps live in a peaceful place and even better to be able to be there looking over you, watching you have fun and laugh and guiding you, through your life. You see my life was never meant to be this short, I had still too much to experience, another lifetime to live , so much to give to you both and I feel so sad for this.