Finlay is certainly testing his boundaries at the moment. He has had various tantrums from not wanting to walk or get in the stroller, kicking his boots off, while I am trying to walk home. Then running all the way back to where he had his melt down in his socks. Another one was in the middle of the dollar store when he thought that a newly bought toy was broken and that he wanted a knew one, he ended up running and screaming down the aisles until I caught him and carried him while again kicking his boots off and screaming and squirming. We ended up walking out the store with customers asking if he was 2!!! Only to get him to the car and have him refuse to get in his car seat. This time I had to stand him on the side walk in his socks, back turned to me and arms folded and we waited and waited until after about 5 mins he was ready to get in the car. The other day we were late for Heather visiting her kindergarten class, when he wanted to go to the park instead, but couldn't handle the fact that we could go later. I forcefully strapped him in as he wriggled about but then he managed to get free and was almost jumping out of the stroller, so again he went running up someones garden in socks to lie down and scream. After waiting for 5 mins he tends to calm down and then we can continue on our journey.
The funny thing is that it is a battle with alot of things from getting diaper changed, to brushing teeth, to getting shoes on. So you can see what fun we have while trying to get everybody out the door. However the 5 mins for him to have that chill time gives him enough space to pull himself together and then he happily calls me to say that he is ready to say sorry or get ready and I am met with a happy smiley boy, ready to face the world again. The curious thing is that all his reports from daycare say what a mellow mannered boy he is and a joy to look after and he seems very popular with the kids in his group. I get great comfort in the fact that he does know how to behave, I get comfort from the fact that when he is ready to join us again it is with a smile and that at the end of the day it is me or James that he wants to lie by him as he falls to sleep.When we are in a group he makes it clear that I am his mommy and becomes quite protective, he loves to give hugs around our legs and will always say " I miss you!!" I guess that he is just testing his boundaries and limits and as parents we have to take the brunt of that. I find that I have to be careful how I deal with this, I have to show patience and acceptance of his frustrations but make it clear that some things cannot be tolerated.
Heather on the other hand is quite intense, also testing her boundaries with emotions and crying and this seems to happen more when she is tired. Recently she has been busy with school and play dates, dance and daycare. By the time bedtime arrives she is exhausted, but reluctant to go to sleep. She has 2-3 stories, then reads to me, then I have to make up a princess story to then finish with 5 lullabies. But most evenings she tries to extend the terms. Resulting in screaming. I find this uncomfortable as we are all weary at that time and I would love bedtime to be a happy and relaxing time. But we don't seem to master this. One night I had to ask her why she was so sad and upset. She said that she didn't like me going to work and wanted me to put her to bed. I explained that this week I didn't have to work and could put her to bed every night. Then she said that she didn't want me to go to work and help people, " I have a good idea for another job you can do....you could just stay at home, clean and put me to bed every night ". That night James was home and took Finlay to bed while Heather and I had a good chat before going to bed, in the princess tent and this seems to settle her down and she enjoys the one on one quiet time with me. It must be hard for her, but I am wondering if the fact that Finlay goes to sleep in our bed is having its toll on her. Its not ideal, but he seems to need that comfort, whereas she is independent.There have been occasions where she has slept on a mattress at the foot of our bed, but generally she sleeps in her own bed. We have made her bed into a lovely princess tent bed which she loves and Finlay has even expressed interest in sharing Heather's room which we may try at the weekend.
So we continue along this path of parent hood trying to understand the reasons for their troubles and respect their thoughts and things from their prospective, with patience we try to show them the right way but this is very trying and takes a lot of energy to stay calm.Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Some days it feels that we move from disaster to disaster, negotiating scenario after scenario, generally we work things out and generally we have great kids.We just pray that we are doing a good job.
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